When I started working on changing my Money Story about 5 years ago – i was shocked at what I learned about myself and money and how my subconscious money beliefs impacted all areas of my life.
So I thought I would do a series of posts this month to highlight how your money dramas can play out in your Relationships; Business and Work and how to start getting a handle on your money stuff!
So this week it’s all about ==> “You, Money and Your Romantic Relationship!”
Actually, being in relationship with money is lot like being in relationship with a man – it’s a power struggle!
In the beginning everything is wonderful – you’re totally loved up, you’re both attentive and supportive of each other and dismissive of any flaws that maybe trying to get your attention.
In the honeymoon phase of your relationship – nothing is going to distract you.
However, once you settle in your relationship – the power struggle between the two of you, starts rearing its ugly head!
And Bham! this triggers your hidden self limiting beliefs as your way of soothing yourself and justifying your actions.
Doubt, insecurity and fear of losing your man start taking over and causing chaos.
One minute he loves you and the next minute he hates you (or so it seems) – it’s a constant attention seeking game.
Me + Men
Gosh – I remember how I would put ‘their’ needs before mine, as a means of feeling needed and wanted! OUCH!!
So I would put my partners on a pedestal and hold on tightly to them, whilst losing myself and identity in the process – because it was always about pleasing them, to become indispensable in the relationship!
So when I started looking into my own money story, I was surprised to learn what my relationship with money revealed about my relationships in general.
I began to fully understood what was meant by the term “how you do one thing is how you do everything!
In both my money relationships and physical relationships – holding on too tight for fear of letting go, was blocking the natural energy flow of love and of abundance.
I would only feel safe and secure about myself, if I had money in the bank (all of my money safely tucked away!) and a man on my arm!! Yikes!
OMG how blooming pathetic is that!?
But, painful as this was too learn about myself – it was liberating too once i knew why I did what I did, when it came to me, money and my personal relationships.
Me + Money
I would hoard money and save a large chunks of my monthly salary every month.
I thought I was being financially responsible by doing this, but I was really doing this out of fear.
I would secretly worry and obsess about not wanting to lose it – and was treating money as something more important and powerful than me.
(BTW it became a self-fulfilling prophecy and I did end up losing it all (£80K) – but I will save that story for another day!)
Without realising, much like the men in my life – my money defined me.
Without my salary and savings I would feel worthless!
I was making money and men, my masters and I was their humble, pleasing submissive servant! – Gosh I’m cringing as I am writing this – was that really me back then!!
My relationship with money and men were essentially as a result of my beliefs and perceptions about me and my value in the world.
And those beliefs stemmed from my childhood beliefs about money, that were innocently passed down through my parents, who were also victims of generational conditioned thinking.
This was really about how I valued me and how I treated myself, and as a result of how I go treated by money and men!
When I learned that my past doesn’t equal my future, and that I could undo what I had learned about money growing up, and change my money story – well that was a big blooming relief! and exciting too.
And the more I got into learning about the energy of money, I learned that I wasn’t alone in my thinking, beliefs and actions.
It’s of course very different for me today (especially so where Men are concerned!) – however the key is not to get complacent, as our money challenges are a continuous ‘work in progress’ otherwise you could find yourself drifting back to your old money habits.
When money is flowing in continuously and regularly, we tend to take it for granted and don’t really pay it much attention.
Then when money starts running out on us! – we start to panic and wonder why we have found ourself in another money drama.
You see just like your man – money loves attention, otherwise left to its own devices, you don’t know where it’s being spent!
Who exactly is in control – Money or You?
Do you spend money as means of justifying yourself –> you have it, you earned it and now you deserve to spend it.
OR Do you spend to fill a deeper void –> lack of love and attention; instant gratification; validation of self worth
OR Do you spend out of guilt , for example –> due to work/business/life commitments, you don’t have enough time to spend in your relationship, so you buy your loved one gifts or wine and dine them to make up for it.
Your see placing money as your master – and as your source of validation – is always going to be a losing game!
Whilst money Loves attention – this doesn’t mean putting it on a pedestal, and worshipping it.
#TIP ~ One powerful way of keeping money on your side, keeping it and bringing more of it in -> is tracking your money on daily basis -> what is coming in daily – even if its a zero amount.
By giving this daily attention to your money – you are appreciating money.
And when money feels appreciated – it does the same – IT APPRECIATES! ☺
So, this week Darling – I want you to get intimate with your relationship with money, and see if you can detect a pattern between how you do money and how you do relationships.
Do you have a healthy relationship with money?
If YES – wonderful!
If NOT – how is this playing out in your relationships?
This is all about Awareness of You and Money – so this is not about judgement, blame or criticism of you.
I just want you to be a passive observer for now and notice what comes up!
Would Love to know what comes up for you darling?
Love, Blossom & Shine xxx,