Have you ever gone out with someone who you just knew was bad for your health, finances and sanity?
Did it stop you from going out with him waaaaay longer than you should have?
Nope, me neither!!
And did you question at some point (and no doubt waaaay too late!) – how some one like YOU of rational, logical, and intelligent sound mind (not to mention blessed with such wisdom, style, beauty, grace elegance etc 🙂 ) – could be so stupid as to be manipulated, controlled and brainwashed by such an arrogant Loser?
You see I once went out with a Loser for a couple of years, and OMG mine was B-A-D for me on every level – but alas he was HOT!!! And just to justify a little bit more the temporary loss of all my faculties at the time – he was French – so yes a FRENCH Hottie!!!
Yes how very shallow and pathetic of me – but I was completely blinded by his hotness factor and sexy French accent!!
All the signs were there… I just chose to ignore them
Everyone I held dear in my life was telling me to run a mile from him.
No one liked him.. and even though they couldn’t quite put their finger on it… they just knew he was trouble!!
But did I care to listen to any of them… Noooooooooooo! Because at the time I knew better, right?! 🙂
Because from where I was (delusionally!) standing – he was treating me like a Queen – for REALS darling… he totally was! (at first, that is!)
But slowly and surely his “Halo” was beginning to disappear, and his true colours were starting to show and begun hitting me upside the head with a big WTF just happened??
The funny thing is there is a part of you – telling you to wake up and smell the coffee!! – and another part of you saying – nope i wanted to see how stupidly far i could continue enduring total humiliation, before coming to my senses! 🙂
I even used to say to him “I cant wait to get over you.. one day I will wake up and smell the coffee and be gone, and you’re so going to regret it… I will be so over you, you Loser… and then you’re going to be begging ME to take you back!!”
But I kept ignoring the little voice inside saying “Ummm how about waking up and smelling the coffee starting NOW Roxy!!”
But you see, at the time I was so far gone down Loserville, it wasn’t that easy – at least that’s what I chose to tell myself..
Hanging out with a Loser was totally making me feel like one too!!
Tell tale signs you’re going out with a Loser/Control freak/Nut Job:
1) He makes you feel like a Loser
2) He thinks you should be grateful to have him in your life!
3) He never takes responsibility for anything – everything is your fault
4) He picks holes about everything – how you cook, what you eat, what you wear, your hair colour, your body, your family + friends etc
5) He gets jealous of you spending any time with anyone else – your family, friends, even your pets (I didn’t have any pets but I am sure he would’ve got jealous)
6) He is only happy when you’re doing what he wants and going where he wants
7) He starts suggesting you see a therapist because he is concerned about you suddenly becoming an aggressive psychotic moody b*itch (aaaaaaaaaaRGH! that’s because you turned me into one – you Loser!!!)
8) He reads your emails and texts behind your back
9) You start reading his emails + texts behind his back – yes your once dormant paranoia – gets turned on full blast eventually!!
10) He withdraws love + affection as a further means to control you
11) Nothing you do is ever enough for him!
12) Your independent streak intimidates him (so this is the first thing he starts curbing and reigning in, in the most subtle of ways)
13) He doesn’t like you having a life unless its ALL about him!
14) He is total Tight Wad!! – not sure this makes him a control freak – but he was a tight wad also – so thought i would add it anyway
15) He hates his mother – (A Big AHA! moment) – any man who has NO respect for his mother, resents her, complains about her – will never ever fully KNOW + APPRECIATE your Value or Respect you as a Woman!!
This list is not all exhaustive!!
Waking up and smelling the Coffee… (Finally!)
Within us all resides a voice that will continue to get louder and louder until you start hearing what it has to say!
Your Divine Inner guidance will always be there guiding you, and will never go away way no matter how much you tell it to “SHUT UP” – because one day it knows you WILL be finally ready to listen…
And for sure darling – that day will come when you finally wake up and smell the coffee and get rid of the Loser once and for all!!!
Because one day you will look in the mirror – and won’t like the person looking back at you… you will feel disgusted/ashamed/angry/embarrassed with yourself and the woman you have become – and finally ask yourself (and finally be ready to hear the truth) of how you let things get this far!
And that’s it!! The day of reckoning will have finally arrived!!
And the first thing you will do is go to your music collection and pull out all those classic power-house-damn-this-girl-is-singing-directly-to-me-songs (mine included):
I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
I AM A Survivor – Destiny’s Child
Irreplaceable – Beyonce
I Should Have Known – Robyn >>> OMG she took the words right of my mouth with this one!!
Don’t Hold Your Breath – Nicole Scherzinger
You are soooooo getting your “feisty” back on… you are sooooo taking back control…
And OMG! – finally, the graceful and powerful diva within you has been activated!
Watch out Lover Boy – you’re about to GET FIRED!! Big time!!
There IS a Gift in every Sad + Pathetic situation…
Well darling even though I went to the dark side with the French Hottie – I realised that at certain points in our life – we are all capable of the lowest of the low in our personality – but guaranteed what doesn’t kill you (or you don’t kill him first!!) – it sure does make you a much more stronger, wiser, and more fabulous version of YOU that you take forward with you in your life and will never again suffer fools gladly! 🙂
I had never experienced with anyone else before, such emotional lows that I had with him
But on the flip side – I also experienced the most highest of highs with him.
He was a bad boy for sure – but he brought out of me my wild side too (in the good way, that is!)
He brought out my creative, fun, adventures, crazy, bohemian, stylish, sexy, classy, hip chic side – the one who had always wanted to express herself but couldn’t… that part of ME that I knew was always there … and this Hot Crazy, French Bad Boy Loser had actually helped me tap into all that and bring her out into the open.
So can I really call him a Loser, then??
Because looking back, in the most bizarre ways – he indirectly played a key role in the metamorphosis of Moi! for the better!!
Every person who comes into our life is an Assignment of sorts – during which time, each party has something to TEACH you, and for you to LEARN from – which allows us to grow and evolve.
That “Other” person is a mirror to what is going on inside of each of us at any given period in our lives.. That “other” acts as universal feedback of what we are feeling, and the path were are heading on at the time…
And if we don’t like where we are heading – we get chance to exercise our free will to change our direction as a result of the actions and decisions we make.
Looking back – I know how/why i attracted + manifested my French Bad Boy Assignment 🙂 – I was not in a very good place in my life at the time – and our vibrational frequencies perfectly matched, and so we attracted each other into our lives – and got to experience, learn and taught each other what we had to, before we gravitated out of each others life once one or both of us started making different choices.
From him – I learned what love is not – and therefore how to LOVE, HONOUR + RESPECT myself in ways that I had never done before – which really changed the course of my life in the most beautiful, amazing, rewarding and fulfilling ways and continues to do so.
So darling, I want you to know – no matter where you are right now in your life… Ask yourself – what is the gift/lesson in this situation?
Because there is ALWAYS a beautiful Gift + Beautiful lesson to be learned in every god forsaken situation (or so it seems) at the time 🙂
So to all the “Loser” boyfriends out there that we have loved – we thank you for the lesson and hope one day YOU too get to experience the real love which is selfless, kind, graceful, forgiving, compassionate, serene and more …
Now doesn’t that make you feel better, darling? 🙂
Would love to know in the comments below – if you have ever attracted a loser.. and the lesson you learned from him??
And if you liked this blog post – then please “Like It” and SHARE it on FB, Twitter, Google + Pinterest or anywhere else you see fit and spread the Love, Joy, Fun, Giggles + Inspiration – Mucho Thanks, darling 🙂
Loving this content? Sign up for updates…..it’s FREE!
Roxy Ahmed has one wish –> that all women around the world are living the fullest expression of themselves and are increasingly + irresistibly magnetic to all of life’s abundance everyday and in every way.
She is a sought-after Law of Attraction (LOA) Coach for Women, helping them to change their “My life Sucks” story to a “My Life Now Rocks” story – by better understanding LOA and applying it more effectively + successfully in their lives – so that they can start to Double (and even Triple) their Money, Love and Joy Factor in Life, and live more Wealthily, Happily, Fun-Fully and Soulfully, every day!
Learn how to double + triple your money, love and fun Factor in life, easily and effortlessly at https://www.facebook.com/gorgeouswealthyfemme
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, BLOG OR WEB SITE?
You absolutely can, darling – but only if the author’s full bio (above) and picture are included beneath it and it is linked back to http://gorgeouswealthyfemme.com/blog/